Once more I have another problem. Not only do I have to stress out over this damn Tank, my boyfriend wants me to move with him.
Do not get me wrong, I WANT to move with him, more than anything right now. At least HE listens to me when I speak. But the problem I have with moving with him is that my family needs me, and not just my parents. You see, extended family has been living with us for about eight years, and my youngest brother is REALLY attatched to them. I mean, so attatced that he cried when my Uncle had to go to the hospital for a few days, and not only because he was sick but because he wasn't going to be there for a few mornings. Well, they're going to be moving out and the little guy is going to be so lost. That wouldn't be too hard, but the fam is also moving and he's going to have to change school disricts and lose all his friends...again. AND on top of THAT he's going through a series of complex medical problems that I care not to talk about. Poor little man is going to be so lost, and he needs his big sis more than anything right now. I've even planed to take him out this Friday to 31 Flavors, just hang out somewhere and talk. He needs someone right now it seems, so why shouldn't I be there? His brother isn't going to be, Mum will be too busy getting the house in order and Dad will be too busy working...Who will he have?
He's such an outcast, just like me when I was his age. I SO understand what he's going through...other than being a boy, but the situation is so similar it's sad.
I'm the oldest of the three of us, I need to protect both of them. The middle won't have much trouble adjusting I can tell, but if he needs me too I will be there for him.
And this move, for me and only me, will only last for 2.5-3 months and I can come back here to be with my Boyfriend. The plan is to be down there long enough to make sure everyone is settled and comfortable and all, then come back here to my Boyfriend and go to school here. Not too complicated, right?
Well my boyfriend wants me to just stay, and if I do my parents will not pay for my school, will not give me the 6 year old Saturn or even by me a new 2010 Saturn, they will not help at all. Normally I would say, 'Ok, fuck you guys I will just eat Mac'n'Cheese and Chili for a few years till some game company hires me.' But I can't do that without a job NOW. I can't seem to get a new job ANYWHERE. Everywhere I've looked, even the damn McDonalds down the fucking street wants someone to fill a MANAGER possition. I've only had two jobs my whole life; 1) Cashier and 2) Student. How the FUCK am I to get that job? I've even applied to out of state jobs and none want me!
See this corner I'm in?
And to top THAT off, I haven't even told him I can't move with him and my fam is moving in THREE weeks! I don't know what to say to him...I can't just NOT tell him, but I can't tell him either...Last time I tried to tell him I was going to move with my family he cried...Seriously, he cried. Now we've found an apartment, $490 a month in a GOOD neihborhood, and he thinks I'm joining him. I want to tell him to just get the apartment because he can afford it alone and have more than enough for food, utilities, gas and even the pet fee, then I can join him in 2.5-3 months later.
But I don't know how to tell him...I know he trusts me, I know he loves me, but I also know he's afraid that I wont come back. I know I will come back, but his fear is so strong...
I'm thinking of leaving something with him, just to remind him I WILL come back...I don't know what to leave though. Should it be the Wii, my Vault-Tec Bobble Head? Or even Guenwyver? I don't know, something so he knows that I'm not gone for good, but shouldn't HE be the thing I leave behind to remind him I'm coming back?
I love him so much, so much more than my whole Halo collection times one billion, all the little metal and clay dragons I have, my Fallout 3 things, my PC, all my art, the fat little birdy statues, my books, games and game systems, I love him more than ALL that combined! Yet he still fears I will not come back...
Don't you see the problem I have?! I just don't know how to tell him...I have to tell him though, and soon before it hurts him that much more...

Oh, I'm so sorry for that long strand of nothingness I'm sure you don't care about. I just needed to get it out somewhere he won't see it. It's not that I don't want someone else to know, I just don't want him to know yet...Ha, it's kind of like then a wife gets pregnant and doesn't know how to tell her husband! At least that's a bridge I don't have to cross for a while.
IN OTHER NEWS
I've made a little more progress on the damn Tank. He's starting to look really cool, now to work on the FEMALE! Aw man, a WHOLE new set of problems...Oh well, might as well get it over sooner rather than later.
Other than the damn Tank, I've made really good progress on the Ravenger! Aw man, he looks SOOOO cool, SOOOO good right now. Ha ha, now to work on the Female for them too! XD Fuck my life. For being a female myself, I sure don't like to draw females. Well, it's always more difficult when they're not even HUMAN. That always seems to complicate things, you know? I know, people seem to draw female, bipeddle fox ladies and crap easily, but try to draw a fucking female bipeddle COW and ELEPHANT without making them too fat or ugly! Yeah, let's see how well you do with THAT shit. Seriously, I dare you, I CHALLANGE you people to draw/paint/render a cool Female Bipeddle Cow and/or Elephant. I just might give you a prise if I like it...Like maybe an art trade or something...

Anywho, I better go before I stay up too late. I have a trip to the Zoo in the morning. Then the next day a four hour drive, one way, to my other Uncle. Maybe I'll get to shoot more...Cool!
Murra Out.